Lucas Maxwell, you are my pride and joy. You are seven and in second grade. Every time I look at you, I wonder where the time has gone. You are so tall and mature. I love watching you laugh with your Dad or giggle with your cousins. You recently did a self portrait and wrote what your reading goals are for the year in school. My heart was warmed when I read that your reading goal was to read the "skripshers". In preparation for your baptism, we have been reading scriptures diligently each night. You amaze me at how you understand the simple Gospel principles. You tell me of conversations you have at school about God with friends. I am so pleased that you aren't afraid to tell others what you believe. Thanks for being so brave.

Tonight we went to celebrate a cousin's Birthday and you performed "Watch me Whip and Nay Nay" which is such a silly song, but you learned the dance in PE at school and you're pretty cute when you do it. Your cousins all loved it. Your most favorite thing is being with family. We are pretty lucky to have them all living so close.

You are reading so well and I am amazed at how great you are at math. I hope you continue to work hard in school. Your teacher and friends at your new school (Meredith Hill) are so great. You were part of the LEGO club which was so fun!

I love when you want to play with me. I taught you how to play Skip-Bo and you are pretty good! We play lots of board games and you love to play ping pong. You also love electronics and play with your cousins. You play basketball right now and it's so fun to watch you.

Yesterday we went to our friends, Matias and Emiliano's Birthday party at the family fun center. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Watching the kids drive the go-carts into walls was hilarious! You were big enough to do bumper boats by yourself and you were out there splashing and bumping around. You guys loved the arcade games... such BOYS!

Lucas, I am so proud of you and you continue to amaze me at what a great Big Brother you are. Thanks for loving your family and being a great leader for Bo and Tessa.

hugs & kisses,
"mommy"

A True HERO

7.25.15

Oh, Lucas. You said a prayer that warmed my heart tonight. I love to hear your prayers - sometimes they are so specific and thorough and you tell Heavenly Father every little thing that happened in your day. Lately you have been saying more "blanket" prayers where you cover everything in one sentence like, "Please bless me to have a great life growing up" or "Please bless all the food at every meal that I ever eat." This happened to be more of a blanket prayer, but you ended it with something different. "Please help everyone who smokes to stop smoking." After the prayer, I asked where that thought came from. You responded by saying, "Well I was thinking about how Grandpa saved Dan." I loved your memory of a very special moment that happened and the face that you classify your Grandpa as a hero... who saves people.

The day Grandpa passed away, naturally we had a house packed with people. Our neighbor, Dan who had been great friends with Grandpa came out to see what the commotion was. Daddy told him that Gerry, your Grandpa had passed away that morning. Dan of course was sad, but more than sadness, he felt astonishment and clear shock... because that morning at the very time that Papa passed away in his truck, while Dan was sleeping, he had a dream. He dreamed that Grandpa pulled up to his yard in his truck like he sometimes did to chat with him. He rolled down his window and told Dan point blank, "Dan, you need to quit smoking. And I mean it, you do it now." As he shook his finger and nodded his head at him. Dan is not a religious man. He lived in the house alone, retired and did as he pleased. He told me that dream will always be with him. I checked on him from time to time after Papa's passing to see how he was doing. To my surprise, Dan had completely quit smoking after that dream. He found other ways to occupy his time when he was tempted to smoke. He taught himself how to play the cello. He would work on new projects and hobbies. He has a better understanding of God and religion. He has not smoked since and I am so proud of Grandpa for making that stop on his way out of this life to help a dear friend. Dan is healthy, happy and feels great that he has been able to quit smoking. Hopefully because of Grandpa, he can have a longer life and help others along the way.

Lucas, thank you for remembering that story and thinking of Grandpa in a new light, as a hero. Life has gotten busier for us. It's hard to stop and remember sweet moments. Thank you for reminding me, for teaching me to have faith and most importantly, thinking about your prayers. It is so important to pray always. I love you so much and can't wait to help you on your mission in this life. You are going to do some great things.

I love you OODLES.

hugs & kisses,
"mommy"

Long Overdue

Lucas, you are growing and changing so much! This past year I have battled my biggest dilemma as a parent. (I'm sure I'll have much larger worries as a parent in the future, but for now this was about all I could handle.) Because your Birthday falls in late August, I had the choice to either send you to school when you had JUST barely turned 5, or I could wait a year to send you. I debated for quite some time and at the last minute, decided to send you. This decision will affect the rest of your education experience, so I was really stressed and prayed a lot. Mrs. Rumel suggested I send you - she saw just how ready you were. Statistics say to hold kids back - but you, my friend are far from a statistic. :) Now, when I think about it I realize that I made the right choice. You are a BRIGHT, intelligent young boy and are excelling in your kindergarten class with Mrs. Grassley. You have several friends and are so incredibly blessed to have your Grandma at school with you every day. You like to go early with her to be the breakfast helper and are always glad to run and hug her every chance you get. Because other kids hear you call her "Grandma", they have also started to call her that. Your special bond with her has sure blossomed since you've started at Sunnycrest with her. Grandpa used to be your sidekick and now you have Grandma to chum around with every day. I never had such a close relationship with my Grandparents. You sure are lucky. (and LOVED)

Every day after school you come and tell me about your day. I hope you always do. I love hearing what you did at school and who your friends are. Naomi is the sweetest little girl who you sit next to in class. You have done a complete transformation when it comes to girls! You used to HATE them. You were not nice to them and would much rather be running around with boys. After meeting little Naomi, you have decided girls aren't so bad after all. ;) You have your first CRUSH! You came home from school one day saying, "We don't kiss until we're married... right, mom?" I said you're ABSOLUTELY right! As time went on, you snuck Naomi a kiss on her arm which was totally innocent, but of course my feelings were hurt because I want you to be MY boyfriend forever. xoxo.

You are starting to read which makes me so proud. You would much rather be doing math though. I think you're a lot like Daddy who loves math. You love primary and are always so excited to give talks in church. I admire you for being so brave. Our cousins are living with us right now and often times you help with Family Home Evening by leading the music with Tyson. You have become pals with him and would do anything for him or Jake. They have taught you about Pokemon and bey blades which are your favorite things to do along with Legos and Hero Factory.

Mommy works a lot right now and I am so impressed to see you always willing to help your brother while I'm with a client. You talk to him so sweetly and are so patient with him. He definitely gets better treatment than anyone else. You are so kind to him. You guys love to wrestle each other and play together so well. In fact, right now you two are in the other room, both squeezed in tight to Bo's bed sleeping soundly. I hope you guys remain close through this life. You'll need each other more than you know. There is a reason you were both sent down to this family. Maybe it's to help navigate each other through this life.

Right now, we are waiting to find out if Daddy is going to go to Dental school. We're hoping we get an answer soon so we can maybe move out of Grandma's house. All though, you tell me you are never moving and that this is YOUR house. We are incredibly blessed to get to stay here with her right now.

You are the light of my life and I am so blessed to have you for a son. You teach me so much and it is so fun to be your Mom. Thanks for loving me back. I hope you always do.

hugs & kisses,
"mommy"

Grandpa Fagan

1.10.13

Dear Lucas,

May you cherish the wonderful memories of your favorite Grandpa and Buddy. This morning, we spent some time at the Auburn YMCA swimming pool. We have met some new friends from preschool, Brogan and Ryker who invited us. While getting ready to come home, we heard my phone ringing from the locker in the bathroom. I answered what the caller ID showed as "Grandpa" calling. I expected Grandpa to be on the other end of the phone asking for me to pick up some meat for dinner or wondering if we would be home in time for lunch. Instead, it was a medical examiner explaining to me that there had been a family emergency. I asked him for more information, but because he wouldn't tell me any more than to "drive safely", I knew that my Dad - your Grandpa had passed away. I was reluctant to say anything to you yet because I didn't know for sure. In a panic, I drove home - the entire way reminding you of the plan of salvation and told you how much I love you. You then asked, "Is Grandpa Died?" 

We walked in the door of the house to find Grandma in tears. She sobbed, knowing that she would have to wait until the next life time to again hug her husband. I held her. She held me. You watched. In wonder. I'm sorry if you were afraid. I met you in the kitchen I got down on my knees and looked you in the eye. Your little lip quivered at the terrible thought of someone being... "died". I told you that your Grandpa loves you very much and he is really going to miss you. You then responded with, " I know my Grandpa isn't dead. He's alive in heaven. I will see him again someday." I marvel at your strength and am uplifted by your child-like faith. Thank you for understanding SO well the plan of salvation. 

You were so close to your Grandpa. I am afraid that you will forget your fondest memories, so as quickly as my fingers can type, I will record them for you to look back at, in fear that I too will forget. 

Your "Papa" started tending you in 2008. You were just a few months old when he would insist that I leave the house to get a break. He was so kind and loving to you. There were times when I thought, "How could he possibly remember how to change a diaper or make a bottle when it has been 25+ years since he has had a baby of his own!?" He managed just fine, though there was a time or two when I would come home to find you with no pants or a backwards diaper. He loved to rock you and rub your feet. He was one of the first people to prop you up in a sitting position so you could "see the world". I was a new Mom and he always encouraged me to let you do what us big people do. "Stop rocking him, you're going to spoil him," he would say. It was not long at all before I started working more and he, more than willingly tended you. I knew it was only a matter of time before you became part of his regular marina trips. He was so proud to show you off to his other Grandpa friends. You tagged along everywhere, including stops at Circle K if you were a good boy to get a "tids pop" as you would call it. Grandpa never liked to waste food and I remember him being frustrated that you wouldn't finish your $2.99 Jack in the Box breakfast. I would have to remind him that you were still a small boy and that meal he was trying to force down you was adult size. He was proud to call you his little buddy and found such joy in watching you grow and learn. One of your favorite things to do was help your Grandpa in the yard. You LOVED to be outside. He would grab the weed-eater and you would grab your pretend lawn mower and follow his every move through that yard. You loved to use the leaf blower with him and enjoyed helping him plant and take care of the garden. You helped him clean his boat. You made regular trips to the dump with him to see the giant tractors. You were always such a big help to him when he had a hard time going upstairs to turn on his air. You were right there, ready to help whenever he needed it. You would even go out to get him a squirt (pop) to drink and would tip-toe into the kitchen for a cup. After the cupboard door closed, I would hear Grandpa say, "Lucas, you are going to get us both in trouble!" He would pour you a cup and you would then show me what a good job you were doing at "sharing!" You guys got in lots of trouble together. Always sneaking around behind my back. The truth is, I knew it was going on -  I was just so glad you had him to be mischievous with. 

I hope you treasure these memories along with some of your own for a lifetime. You will always have a Grandpa in heaven rooting you along, watching you as you make right choices and beaming at your successes through life. I know he is proud of you and that he CAN'T WAIT to see you again. 

I love you so much, Lucas. Know that there is a life after this. Know that we can be a forever family. Know that your Heavenly Father has a plan for us all. Know that I love you.

hugs & kisses,

"mommy"

Happy 4th Birthday!

You are FOUR! You have had so much fun celebrating your Birthday. Who wouldn't love family dinners, Birthday dates, dirt cake and gifts? You were very adamant about having a dirt bike cake and when we ate dinner last week at Applebee's, the waitress came to take your order and your promptly asked for a dirt bike cake. You were very good at sharing your gifts with all your cousins that came over to celebrate. You took turns and thanked everyone for the presents. After opening one of your gifts, someone asked "Do you like it?" and you replied "NO. I LOVE IT!" You have been begging for a "Tids size chainsaw" (you STILL can't say your K's) and when you opened it along with a kids size weed eater, you were thrilled.

I am so happy to see you growing into such a nice boy. You have tested me quite a bit this past year... but I know "4" will bring wonderful things. You will start pre-school next week. You also love primary. You are asked to give talks in primary VERY often because you are one of the few that LOVE to give talks. I hope you continue to enjoy public speaking and sharing your feelings. When we were in Blackfoot visiting Grandpa, you insisted that you share your testimony during sacrament. You jumped right out in the isle with your arms folded and gave me a "look" with eyebrows raised and everything. You whispered hastly, "FINE. I'll go withOUT you!" I quickly followed to make sure you didn't need help. You stood shamelessly and said "I know this church is true. I know we have a Prophet, Thomas S. Monson. I know that Ammon had the power of "Dod". (God) and then my favorite line of your testimony,"The truth is, this stuff is true." Wow. Straight to the point. I love it! I am incredibly proud to call you my son. I am excited to see who else you'll get to share your testimony with throughout this life. Thank you for being a wonderful example to me. I love you and am excited to create more memories with you this coming year.

hugs&kisses,
"mommy"

Here are some photos from your "4" year photo shoot:

 This was your face when you saw Uncle Foogs pull up. :)

Ironically, you ended up with "4" apples in your basket when all was said and done. :) 

 Dear Lucas,

What a wonderful family home evening we had at the temple together. You were so excited to see Angel Moroni. You wondered why you couldn't go in. There are very sacred things that happen in the temple and when you turn 12 you will have a better understanding of those ordinances. Only the cleanest people can enter the house of the Lord. You are very clean and work hard to make good choices - so I know you will get the opportunity to go inside one day. I also know that if you continue on the path of righteousness, you will be able to be sealed to your own family there some day. 

The closest we can get to God is attending the temple. This world is filled with darkness and sin. It takes great courage to stand above the rest and keep yourself spotless from the sins that surround you. You are such a leader. I can see you teaching others about Jesus Christ and even serving a mission some day. I know you have so many individual traits that Heavenly Father blessed you with that will help you get through this life and that will help others to see the light as well. Thank you for always making your brother happy and helping to teach him by example. He sees you fold your arms so reverently for prayer, he watches you show love to others and I know he'll want to be just like you. Lucas, I love you so much. I know that Heavenly Father has a special love for you, too. He knows your trials and wants you to succeed. The scriptures will help you do that. Please remember to read and learn. Always know that life is easiest with the gospel. I can't wait to take you to the temple someday. You make me so proud already. Your smile lights up the room. 

I love you so much, Groobs. 

hugs & kisses, 

"mommy"

Conversations With Groobs

I dressed you in sweats one morning and we headed to a doctor appointment. After the appointment I offered to take you Christmas shopping. This was your reply: "Not in my SWEATS, Mom!" I guess you rarely wear them and understand the importance of staying well groomed. I think that's a good thing. :) I also wanted you to try on a hat in the store and you said, "don't mess up my hair!" ...this coming from my very stylish 3 year old. 

After fixing the toilet when the chain came unhooked, you said: "You FIXED it, Mom? I'm UMpressed!"

You had been playing in your bed with a tractor for quite some time. I came in and asked you to park it and tell it good night. You replied, "What?! I'm so confuuuused."

You always tell me to "have patience!"

Never do you ask for help. I am often stopped in my tracks with a hand in the air, a cute head nod with eye brows raised telling me "I got it. I can do it myself."

You have the funniest baby talk with your brother. You call him "Bode Boy" and "cutie patootie". You often ask him questions and then answer for him saying, "Yes, you ARE handsome, Boden" or "Yes you DO like tractors, Boden." You also call him by his full name all the time. "Mom, I think we should get Boden Jeramy dressed, don't you?"

At the dinner table you asked what kind of meat we were eating. "Are these ribs?" (you know what ribs are thanks to Daddy's Anatomy book you love.) We replied that they were in fact ribs. "Are they ribs from a cow or a human?" ... actually they are from a pig. "Well I like to eat human ribs." ...*crickets*...

mom: "Do you know who Heavenly Father is?"
Lucas: "His son is named Jesus. He says, "This is my BELIEVE-ED son... Hear him."

Your favorite thing to do is read our Book of Mormon "Hero" cards. They're like trading cards of prophets from the BOM. Right now you love Ammon and the gory story of him cutting off the arms of wicked Lamanites - which is in fact way too old for you and definitely rated-R. You can finish my sentences while I read it and you love the part where it says "Ammon had the power of GOD." but you say "DOD" because G's are still hard for you to pronounce.

The other day you prayed that you would someday get to ride on a train. And in case Heavenly Father didn't know, you repeated yourself more specifically, "a passenger train."

I love you and I really love talking to you. Thanks for keeping us on our toes.

hugs & kisses,
"mommy"